Just two columns ago, I shared Pastor Chad Lewis’s satirical version of “Amazing Grace,” entitled “Lackluster Grace.” In that same spirit, here is a list of rewritten hymn titles that reflect what we, unfortunately, really mean in our hearts when we’ve drifted too far from the cross and when we enter into corporate worship with lackluster reverance for God and a dim view of His grace toward us. Â
This list has circulated around the web for awhile, but if you haven’t seen it yet or haven’t seen it in awhile, read through it, chuckle, and then see if you need to check your heart (like I often do) and pray that God will amplify the truth and power of the cross in your life. Incidentally, I believe the author of this list is anonymous, but if that’s not the case, I’d love to know his or her name, to provide proper credit:Â
IÂ Surrender, Some
There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings
Fill My Spoon, Lord
Oh, How I Like Jesus
He’s Quite a Bit to Me
I Love to Talk About Telling the Story
Take My Life and Let Me Be
It Is My Secret What God Can Do
There Is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
Just As I Pretend to Be
When the Saints Go Sneaking In
Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
Self-Esteem to the World, The Lord Is Come
Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
Go Tell It on the Speed Bump
Special, Special, Special
Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
Praise God From Whom All Affirmations Flow
My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much
O, God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
I Lay My Inappropriate Behavior on Jesus
Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name!
When Peace, Like a Trickle
I’m Fairly Certain that My Redeemer Lives
We Give Thee but Still Think We Own
What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
My Faith Looks Around for Thee
Joyful, Joyful We Think Thee Pretty Good
Blessed Hunch
Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness
We Are Milling Around in the Light of God
Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me
Blest Be the Tie that Doesn’t Cramp My Style
