Let’s relax a little before we get started with the conclusion to this three-part recap of the first Sojourn Songwriting Seminar, featuring Jamie Barnes: watch Jamie having some fun with his acoustic version of Britney Spears’ “Toxic” in New York City.
When we all settled in after a coffee break, Jamie broke us out into groups of four and said, “Two of you make a list of five interesting adjectives. The other two make a list of five interesting nouns. Do it without knowing what each pair is doing.”
After a few minutes each pair then shared and combined their adjectives and nouns. The groups then each presented their most interesting combinations to everyone. The combinations included:
Iridescent kitty-litter
Exhausted zylophone
Nervous park
Pearly nose-bleed
Irreverent skin
Hungry butcher knife
Sore shingle
Sickening well
Sleepy barnyard
Stellar Jesus
Marvelous Hannah Montana (I’m not kidding about this last one).Â
But some of the combinations are interesting, right? It’s a fun, simple lesson in coloring outside the lines. The exercise can also work by brainstorming different combinations of nouns and verbs. Then take any combination and try to write an entire line, sentence, verse or paragraph with it … who knows where the adventure will take you?
The final unit of Jamie’s lecture was a lesson in how history can be a source of inspiration, and historical realities can themselves be metaphors and symbols for the themes we want to communicate through song. Worship songwriters and hymnists have long understood this — think of some of the great gospel songs from the American south that used the Israelites slavery in Egypt as a symbol for American slavery, as well as “slavery to sin.”
Jamie is a history buff, and this comes through in his music. For sake of demonstration, he used his song “Idol of Ohio,” from a Louisville Is For Lovers compilation CD. The song relates the assassination of President McKinley (who had been nicknamed the “idol of Ohio” by the press). Â
McKinley’s wife was an invalid, and he was extremely protective of her. As he lay dying from the gunshot, he is supposed to have said “Be careful how you tell my wife about this.�
Jamie’s song, based on this event, is not only a history lesson but a song of love and devotion. More than that, however, it is a song about the evil in the heart of each of us — McKinley himself identifies with the killer and wants grace for him.
This has long been one of my personal favorite Jamie Barnes songs:
Idol Of Ohio, by Jamie Barnes
Be careful how you tell her, Cortelyou
Oh be careful how you break the word
and how she learns of the black powder burns
and the breach into her lovers chest
Oh William, she’d say, put your rosary away
and come take a widow’s shaking hand
This is the last campaign on a slow steam train
that death itself can not derail
Gone away
scattered far
without a yell
without a holler
and the Idol of Ohio, torn down by the living God.
I was once young myself with zeal flamin’ red
concealed well beneath my sleeve.
I could walk right up staring clean into the eyes
of any man I wanted cut down to his knees.
Yes, you could land a plane on the list of names
of people that I know I have displeased.
But I would die once more to make a dea with you, Lord
to go easier on her than You go on me.
Of course, being the humble guy that he is, Jamie didn’t go into this song in detail.  But let me take just a minute to point out some things that we as writer’s can learn from this song:
and how she learns of the black powder burns and the breach into her lover’s chest
Just one or two colorful details can take a listener into a scene. He didn’t simply “tell” us what happened; he “showed” us. No wasted space showing every little thing. He gave us colorful description and let our imagination do the rest.
And I love the use of the word “breach.” The alliteration of all those “B” words is appropriate to the story because the “B” sound is harsh, like an assasination. And the word itself is so, well, presidential: “We have a breach of security here, or the president’s got a hole in his chest. Same thing.”
I was once young myself with a zeal flamin’ red
concealed well beneath my sleeve.
I could walk right up staring clean into the eyes
of any man I wanted cut down to his knees.
Yes, you could land a plane on the list of names
of people that I know I have displeased
This might be my favorite line. And of course the chorus tag itself, “and the Idol of Ohio, torn down by the living God.” It’s a full-scale morality play, a cautionary tale. And yet a love song at the same time. We’re touched by the protective affection for his wife — it’s more moving than if he’d spent the entire song on a bunch of static descriptions of his wife’s attributes.
Things that all writers could learn from this song would be line economy, forward momentum (even with flashback) good verbs, effective use of rhyme and appealing metaphors.
Hear “Idol of Ohio” from Jamie’s Myspace page
Or watch a live performance of it from The 930 in Louisville. Sojourn worship arts pastor Mike Cosper joins Jamie on steel guitar.
Jamie then brought up a couple other examples of songs that utilize historical references, the first being ”Someday We’ll Know” by the New Radicals, a modest hit from several years ago about a romance turned sour.
He pointed out that the song jumps from one point of history to another, using many tired clichés and “telling” rather than “showing.” The chorus:
Someday we’ll know
if love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
why I wasn’t meant for you
and then this, near the end of the song:
Someday we’ll know
why Samson loved Delilah
One day I’ll go
dancing on the moon
Someday you’ll know
That I was the one for you.
He also cited a positive example of a song that centers around historical events: Sufjan Stevens’ “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.â€? Stevens sticks to one historical reference — the infamous mass murderer. He “shows” you, he doesn’t just “tell,” in lines like:
 His father was a drinker
and his mother cried in bed
folding John Wayne’s t-shirts
when the swing-set hit his head
The lines throughout the song are stark, even chilling, and with the gutsy revelation at the end that:
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid
And then with a brief, encouraging admonition to keep plugging away at this business of writing, to persevere and yet to have fun, our hero Barnes was off into the sunset, leaving us with lots of information to think about. Thanks again to Jamie, and be sure to check out the various links to his art that we’ve provided in the course of these last three articles.
Remember that in our Helpful Links section here at sojournmusic.com, you can click on a number of Songwriting info/resources links, anytime. Topics include 37 Rules for Beginners, Avoiding Forced Rhyme, How Melodies and Chords Work Together, Giving and Receiving Critiques and more. We also have links to downloadable copyright registration forms, a guitar chord finder, online rhyming dictionary and other helpful tools.
And come back tomorrow for an audio link to a lecture by Sojourn Worship Arts Pastor Mike Cosper from Troy, New York entitled “Missional Strategies for the Arts.”
